-by Amanda M., Kankakee, IL following January 2011 visit to Haiti

As I sat on the terrace of the house that overlooked the dry and dusty roadways filled with men and women, honking horns and the laughter of school age children, the thoughts of hopelessness settled in my soul.  Thinking of walking day after day on a mangled road, dust coating your clothes as the traffic passed by, and little hope of greatness penetrated my heart.  In this dry, dreary land, how can the children still jump in their seat, have smiles on their faces, and appear hopeful?  Then I began to understand that the children have unknowingly accepted their country, embraced their family, and appreciate their opportunities (few and far between as they may be for some).

It became apparent that I easily become distracted by the negativity that surrounds our country, and to scapegoat my family, and underappreciated what opportunities I have been given.  It’s easy for individuals to visit such a place and only scratch the surface of their hearts and others will experience slight soul searching, but lack of attachment, and lastly some will feel the affects daily.  This experience has not just been one that has grazed or even slightly probed my heart, but rather an experience that has pierced my heart leaving a desire to return, a desire to understand, and a desire to provide stability.

If there is one thing that I am consistently reminded of, it is the smiling faces.  The people have made a choice to stay positive. They have made a choice to be hopeful that there are better days ahead.  Maybe today is that better day?  If I can leave you with one image it would be of a young teenage boy holding a hand colored sign underneath his face reading “Jesus love me.”  Unsure if he meant for the sign to read Jesus loves me or if he simply wrote it as a prayer to Jesus to love him.  Either way, it has impacted my whole being and the way in which I process all my thoughts. Should I remind myself that Jesus Loves Me every day, or do I take it for granted.  Or should I ask, in a small prayer each morning, Jesus to love me today.  It’s not as if my asking will change the fact that He chooses to love me no matter what, but I want to invite him to love me, to be a part of my day, to bring me hope on those February days where the rain seems to never leave but for only a second to catch a single ray of light.   Hope is just around the corner for all of us!

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